By now, you've all heard, Vice-President Dick Cheney shot a hunting companion this weekend.
Since the victim, 78 year old Austin attorney anand GOP activist Harry Whittington, should be fine, I feel comfortable moccking Ol's dick.
So without further adieu, I give you the reasons why Dick Cheney may have shot this poor bastard.
1. Social security crisis? Not an issue. Just take Grandpa "hunting". Dick can make it look like an accident.
2. Wittington gave $1,000 to President Bush's 2000 campaign and $2,000 to his 2004 re-election bid.
This'll teach that cheap bastard to come up with some real cash.
3. I'd like to see you shoot straigh after downing a fifth of bourbon and a 6 pack of beer before 9am.
4. Harry Wittington thought he'd be the hunter. He didn't realize that he was about to become the prey as Dick Cheney hunts....
THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME OF ALL, MAN.
5. Dick thought that Harry had weapons of mass destruction.
6. Flashbacks from Nam, man. Or rather, flashbacks from sitting out Nam.
7. He's the Veep and he'll shoot whomever he Dam Well pleases.
8. He thought it was George W.
9. He thought it was Jack Abramoff.
10. Nothing tastes as good as succulent, human flesh.
