"A Universal Breath Of Fresh Air"
Not an easy thing to start a new adventure with a crash landing. The mule on the rocky ground, the man on the more pliable mule. The man got the better of it. Limp quickly extracted himself from the equines hooves and rolled to his size thirteen Dunham boots. He was about to turn and see to his colleague when a flash of light caught his eye. By the time Solobas came to his four feet, the fool had extricated a thin metallic rod from a cleft in the rocks. The mule immediately knew what the object was, a golf club, a three iron to be precise. Now, nearly everybody on the planet Earth knows what a golf club is, it’s an implement used in a popular game of leisure. However, Limp had never seen one. And when he picked it up it gave him a static shock, he deemed it to be magic.
“It’s just what I need,” voiced the human, “for makin’ wishes and knockin’ monsters.”
Solobas breathed a happy mule sigh and left the man alone. It couldn’t hurt. Could it? After all, it was just a golf club.
The stalwart hack mule led his cohort through an ancient lava field strewn with boulders the size of small houses. The two presently found a trail that seemed well worn and so followed it until the sun began to dip below the horizon. Solobas decided that it would be best to stop and face the morrow alert, so he called for a halt. The pair made a hasty camp and after a meal of pemmican and oat cakes from the mule’s pack, settled down for some shut-eye. The mule thought there was no need for a watch, he would depend on his animal instinct for vigilance on this night. It was usually enough!
About an hour before daybreak, Limp was awakened by an aroma that overcame the combination of beef jerky and human foot odor.[he always removed his boots to sleep, Mama’s rules] He slowly opened his eyes and found himself nose to nose with a face. It wasn’t the mule’s and he wasn’t peering into Alice’s looking glass. When he realized this, he screamed and shrieked and squealed. [in that order] Then he vomited! At the completion of the first scream, Solobas was on his feet. At the conclusion of the shriek, he had noted the intruder. At the cessation of the squeal, he had the prowler pinned to the ground under his significant mass. By the time Limp had emptied his stomach, Solobas had psychically taken control of the human and through him apologized to........
a Thaj Yes I said a Thaj [hey people, you better get used to these alien names, there’s going to be a load of them] A Thaj is a most unique creature. It stands one meter in height has a single leg and a rather disproportionate foot. The monopods head is much like that of a human, with sensory organs properly named and numbered. The body on the other hand....well...it looks and feels like a large Wellington boot. It is made of an elastic material that is filled with either gas or liquid, depending on the organism’s specific needs. It is capable of living in water or on land and is equally comfortable in one or the other. Though an air breather, there is a miniature set of gills located behind the auditory apparatus. These slits are quite capable of animating when needed. The invertebrate has two prehensile outgrowths, each with a preaxial digit and two opposers. These “hands” are very flexible and dexterous, which has lent to the Thaj’s various pursuits, from thievery to post office work. It flows along the ground by flexing the sole of its foot much like the Terran inchworm. This may sound ineffectual, but the “footer” as it is referred to in the vernacular, can moved quickly and smoothly when the need arises. Anyway.....
“So sorry about the knockabout, feels like an odd place, where are we?” spaked the man/mule.
“Eh, nothing broken, well visitor you are on the world called Pariah, I am Thajasomoheebartochnixerkoob.” rasped the creature, brushing the dirt from his few locks of hair, “Call me Koob,! Pardon the intrusion but, you two seem a bit out of place”
The mule nodded. He dragged Limp to his feet be the straps of his overalls and steadied him. Again he spoke through human.
“ I’m afraid that we will perpetually seem out of place. Our lot in life is that of endless travels. But, we make the best of it all. Right now we are simply seeking lodging. Perhaps you could you suggest a local hostel. By the by, I am Limp and my hoofed companion is Solobas the mule.”
“Love the extrasensory trick,” declared the Thaj with a gleam of merriment in his eye, “ I have never met a mule, but have met my share of telepaths, your link is very strong. I wouldn’t necessarily give that up to everyone you meet.”
The mule looked over his new found acquaintance and psied to him.
“Good advice, I will indeed be more circumspect. Tell me, where in the god’s creation have you met another psychic?”
“Well, I don’t want to disillusion you, my hairy fellow, but you’ll meet one or two if you journey with me to the next township. It is called MeetingPlace and I warn you....the name is to say the least, appropriate. It’s hard to explain! I will tell you this, though there are no native cultures on Pariah, [Thaj is one] you will never see a congregation of so many “individuals” anywhere in the cosmos. It is a sort of a magnet for the masses. Well, you’ll see. Be happy to have you stay with me for a few turns til you get settled. Have plenty of room.”
Limp had become vaguely alert and was poking at the Thaj’s rubbery skin. He was muttering about being waterproof when Koob addressed him.
“Are you hungry, I have some crinkle fish chips?”
“Like chips,” whined Limp, “got dip too?”
Though lacking dip, the human accepted the morsels. Now picture this, a hack mule, a Thaj and a human strolling down a trail on a planet named Pariah. Odd enough, maybe, but the fact that the human was dribbling fish chips down his overalls was just a part of the humor. Limp was also testing his sorcery, tapping every rock and plant and occasionally his fellow trekkers with the golfclubmagicwand.
“Oops...almost felt it,” he mumbled, “Gonna work one of these times! Abricka-dacron!”
Six clicks later the trio rounded a bend an entered the valley of MeetingPlace. At this time I am going to do something completely different. Limp is going to narrate the first impressions of the community. Though his descriptions tend to vacillate between the sublime and the ridiculous, his child-like sense of wonder may just capture the moment...I will however, edit and upgrade it so a normal human can understand it.......The triad soon came to the entrance to the city. Blocking the roadway was huge brown bear on a chain. The restraint was tied to a dilapidated execution device, a Terran electric chair. Slouching in the apparatus was an ancient crone dressed in a lime-green polyester leisure suit [circa 1970]. As the travelers approached Koob leaned over and whispered to the man and the mule...
“Hmmm, shouldn’t be a problem fellows, I think she’s some new security precaution, just wants to make sure we aren’t dangerous, .”
“Are we, we’re not, are we muley?” whined Limp. “Ohhhh noooo!”
Bassie just walked up to the woman.
“We aren’t!” he asserted, “Never have been!” Limp’s narration begins....here
Her name was Ms Phitt, I knew the minute she touched my hand. She was from Missouri. I knew that too! I took in more information from her, but forgot most of it when we separated. I just know she liked me and would have sat and talked if we had both had the time. But, her last sentence said it all... that as a matter of fact, we didn’t have much time....and that I was free to enter the city. The Thaj easily passed her trial, having lived in the township for many years. Ms Phitt spent more time with the hack. This was no surprise [even to me], as they both were mind speakers. Plus, you know, Solobas is after all the leader, even though I have this new magic wand-thing. I found out later about the important stuff. I did try the enchanted stick on the bear. It just made him mad. But, the mistress of the gate just smiled and yelled at the immense beast to shut up. It did! Oh, just in case....I put my wizard scepter down my pants, just in case.......you never know!
A little way past Ms Phitt, we came to an open air market. That was good because I was really hungry. But the first stall almost took away my appetite, and that’s saying something! There were two proprietors in a booth full of baked goods. The first was a six-foot tall human wearing a toga. He was calling out the names of his wares and the prices, encouraging the customers to sample from the platter on his front stand. His partner was the biggest woman I’d ever seen. She was three meters tall and must have weighed five hundred pounds. She was stacking merchandise on tables and screaming at everyone within earshot. No one eluded her invective. She bellowed at the various types of offspring running about. She shrieked at the potential patrons, howled at her fellow vendors and roared at her associate. [he turned out to be her husband] Amazingly, no one paid her any mind. Most even smiled at her abuse. She was, of course, an ogre and this was her normal manner. Remarkably, business was brisk, and after tasting their confections it was no wonder. Solobas gave me some local coin [he always has the right currency, don’t know how] and gave me free reign to fill my backpack. I did so, happily! I even bought some brownie-like creations to share with a group of four small red and white juvenile Coopas. The closest I can come to explaining them is to tell you they are racoons with an IQ much higher than mine and a larger appetite. We strolled across the square to a warehouse and entered through a large arched doorway. Run by llamas and several herbivores from unknown remote galaxies, this was the mule’s idea of Nirvana. Rows of vegetables from terran artichokes to Meldian zhamdards filled crates from wall to wall, from floor to ceiling.The Thaj threw a hop basket on the hinnys back behind the mules sling pack and asked which kind and how many. With the help of primate assistants, the pannier was soon filled to overflowing. Kooby paid [again the mules money magic] and we left the barn through the rear exit. We found a shaded area next to a spring fed creek and settled down to our feast. Our new friend was well supplied with several aquatic edibles which he offered around. I tried them and found them “fishy”, well, they were fish! After a nosh and a drink, Bassie thought it was time to see to our “duties”. I was tired, but I never get to decide, so on we went. The crowd had multiplied when we returned to the marketplace. What a curious blend of beings. Science and fantasy had combined on Pariah to create a unique colony of well, aliens. The diversity of entities living in the city alone was endless! Solobas spoke into my brain as we strolled along the streets, telling me what I was seeing. Tlathis, Gombs, Cubarus, Bokodanes, Hylls,and Whoops were just a few of the races he mentioned. Human bipeds of every shape and color mixed with intelligent animal species from who knows where. Two arms, four arms, two heads, six legs, multiple sensory organs, nothing was left out. There were even Dloines, a creature with only a torso that was a living, breathing computer. He/she/it was being wheeled from one stall to the next, doing daily spreadsheets for all the vendors. This had to be THE cosmic melting pot! I was getting really tired and had a headache by the time we halted for the day. We had just sat down to another meal [a small one this time], when a Yyeon approached us. Yyeons are messengers. They are phonetic recorders that look like Earth fire hydrants on casters. They are able to translate from almost any language to another without understanding the message they carry. This makes them ideal couriers in Pariah. It also makes them useful to the criminal element. The communication was a cryptic one from that domain according to Koob, who gasped at the name spoken by the drone. The name was Biggersims. Here we end Limps recounting and procede with the story itself......he did well, don’t you think?......
Biggersims was and may still be the “boss of bosses” among the outlaw factor on Pariah. He was requesting a meeting with the hack and his associates at Midmoon that night. The message gave no hint of the true purpose of the tryst, but spoke vaguely of dire omens and death and destruction. Hey, that kind of directive couldn’t be ignored. The Yyeon terminated the communication with the disclosure of the rendezvous point and waited for a reply. Koob looked at the mule, noted his approval and gave the bearer a response.
“We’ll be there.” was all he said, and to Solobas, “guess we won’t make it home tonight!”
The troika had about five hours until the meeting. The they had no idea what was coming, but knew in their hearts that it could be hazardous to their health. They settled down on a public common to rest and discuss the state of affairs. Limp promptly fell asleep, wrapped around his “magic wand”. Kooby took some time to tell the mule what he knew about this creature called Biggersims.
“Now I’ve lived in this community for over twelve cycles,” began the Thaj, “And he was here and established when I was born. He is not thought of in the real criminal sense here in MeetingPlace. He is often referred to in that vein only because he does much of the work other beings will not. He handles services such as trash collection, moneylending, transportation and, though unproven, has resorted to violence at times. Bigs is a roughneck, but honest and reasonable when profit is at stake. I was surprised at the message because he is intensely secretive about his person. I’ve never heard of him dealing face to face with anyone, though I have had dealing with his underbosses. He is also known to be charitable to a fault where the underpriviledged or children are concerned. That too is done incognito, it would ruin his reputation as a hoodlum, a position I think he apparently finds appealing. This must be vitally important for him to risk exposure. I would suggest friend mule that we do as your friend and try to rest. Tis a strange brewinto which we have fallen.”
With that, the two settled down to recuperate. However, Solobas did not sleep. He waited and watched.
At fifteen minutes before Midmoon, Solobas woke his companions and briefed Limp on his part in the encounter. The mule was going to try and conceal his telepathy and intellect from the outlaw as a precaution, so he would be speaking through Limp.[as Solimp] The Thaj would act as an interpreter if necessary and encourage the ruse. If all went as planned they would get the essential information and vacate the premises as quickly as possible.[with their hides and heads intact] The three squared their respective shoulders and proceeded up the nearly deserted lane to meet the dreaded Biggersims.
Koob knew the exact location of the designated alley [hmmm?], so the trio was a few minutes early for their encounter. Limp and Solobas moved quietly into the shadows of a high stone wall, while the Thaj waited in the open. Once again, Limp decided to conceal his three iron in his pantleg. Odd creature isn’t he? Presently, bootsteps were heard entering from the opposite end of the back street. Two very large entities dressed all in black halted in front of the indigene. One was a human, the other a rock troll.
“Ya bring da time travelers?” the ogre asked.
Solobas didn’t hesitate, he pushed Limp into the moonlight, followed him and addressed the two bipeds.
“We’re here!” murmured Solimp, “What’s all this cloak and dagger nonsense?”
The troll smiled wickedly and the dark human scowled.
“Come wid us, and drop da psychy-foolery” he hissed, “Boss don’t like no mumbo-jumbo.”
The sullen guards strode across the lane and opened a wide door set in a stone alcazar.
“After yous,” snapped the goblin.
The man, the mule and there new companion, stepped across the threshold followed by their wardens.
“Out of the fire .....into the frying pan!” exclaimed Limp.
The room was not what the the travelers expected. There was a sizable blaze in a fireplace opposite the door that lent a sense of home to the apartment. It was well lit by sandalwood scented tapers and the table in the center of the chamber was ladened with fresh fruit. A decanter of mead and a carafe of water were set on a credenza against the near wall. On a small cabinet at the end of the table were a pair of blacksmiths pliers, restraining irons and a fleam.[items of torture] A small door in the East wall opened suddenly and Biggersims sauntered into the room on his four tiny pink feet. That’s when Limp began to snicker.
You see, the great criminal mind of Pariah was a rodent! A Norway rat to be precise.
At a nod from Biggersims, the troll picked him up and placed on the edge of the dining table. The rat gave Limp a perfunctory glance, selected a Kadota fig from a bowl and shook it’s head. In near perfect English [slight Norwegian accent] Biggersims spoke...
“Laughing is allowed,” he declared, “It’s healthy! But you won’t be laughing long there boyo! Unless your equine friend has the jazz to rectify a little cosmic problem of mine. But first, Thanks Koob.....knew you’d pull it off. Pick up your commission from Preth at the front desk. You can stay if you want, but you don’t have too.”
“No,” said the Thaj, “I’ll head out.”
He then turned to the mule...
“No hard feelings, friend,” he spoke softly, “Just doing my job.”
Solobas inclined his head.
“Would have come along anyway,” psied the hinny, “May be the best for both of us, this could be IT!”
At the word IT, the mule pivoted on his forefeet and with his rear hooves thumped the thick heads of the two guards just hard enough to put out their respective lights. They went down like ninepins. Koob bolted for the back door and nearly made it, but Solobas caught him by the collar of his cape. He then turned to face the rat after stuffing the Thaj in a handy umbrella stand. [That it turned out to be a spitoon was not the mule’s fault.] The rat was gone! He had missed his chance. Bassie looked to Limp and froze. The man was standing by the table with both mouth and pockets full of various fruits. Juice had run down his ovealls and the head of a three iron stuck out of his bib. The look on his face was the usual one....blank, but in his right hand was the end of a long pink tail that belonged to the nefarious Biggersims.
Limp looked at his partner and smiled.
“Got Biggiesnippers!” he wisecracked, “Got the ratty!”
The human flipped the rodent into the air by his long tail and deftly caught it by the nape of its neck.[He has good hands does Limp, bad feet, but good hands] Limp then pinned the rat to the table. Solobas strode to the oak board.
“Don’t kill me....pleeeeeezzzzze don’t kill me. I’ve got three wives and forty four children to support......pleeeeeze!” screeched the rodent.
“We’re not even going to hurt you IF you relax and tell us what we need to know.” psied Solobas, “Just what is so important that you bring us here and threaten us with implements of barbarous torment.”
“Yeah,” said Limp “What the big deal, Whippersicky?”
Biggersims expelled a long breath and looked from the man to the mule.
“Well,” he uttered, “ I need your help. The whole planet needs your help. Since this is the only way I know to get anything accomplished, I proceeded ay my own risk, so to speak. Those tools are just for show, I never need to use them. As a matter of fact, I really haven’t ever hurt anyone. My reputation has always been enough to carry the day. Your friend can let me go, I will behave myself now.”
At a nod from Solobas, Limp let the rodent loose and proceeded to pull the Thaj from his brass prison. The two henchman managed to get to their feet, but made no attempt to seize the time travelers. They knew when they were overmatched. The rat dismissed them with a word and returned his attention to the mule.
“You mentioned needing assistance.” psied the mule, “What did you mean?”
“Okay, here’s the situation.” stated Biggersims, “ Our wormholes have reversed.”
Solobas just stared at the rat. Though his mind-to-mind communication was without peer, he could not, or should I say, would not read another’s intentions. Now that the problem had been revealed, the Mule’s brain began working. The rodent continued...
“Our world has always been a fallout of the misunderstood and disenfranchised. Those who did not fit in often found themselves exiting there own worlds and ending up here. This was accomplished through the utilization of a series of extensive wormholes powered by who knows what! The specified creature would slip into a hole on their own planet, fall into a trance-like state and wind on one of five collection sites in the immediate area of TheMeetingPlace. The voyagers are mustered by my crews and given a temporary residence until they are ready to start their new lives. Up until one moon phase ago, all was going as the Master’s plan, then the flow halted......completely! This had never happened since the very start of the accumulation. For thirty years all has gone smoothly. My grandsire was the first to organize the acclimatization of the journeymen. Since then, our family has hidden this operation by becoming the “evil criminal empire”. Men like Kooby have aligned themselves to me for the good of our world, to carry on the adaptation of our new friends. But now all this is lost! The operation is desisted and ceased, kaput, over.....unless you can help us.” I know what happens, but, I don’t know how....unfortunately, you and your associate are on your own. Can you help....will you try?”
Solobas shook his scruffy mane and cast a quick glance at Limp. The man just smiled. He had helped the Thaj clean up and was busy with the fruit again. He had no idea what the situation was, nor did he care. Whatever came and went was fine by the human. His faith in the mule’s ability was absolute. It was good to know.....
“Yes!” psied the hinny, “Take us to the closest gathering zone, we’ll begin there.”
Biggersims directed the travelers out the rear door and up the alley away from the town square. Little was said during the journey. The rat guided them with phrases short and to the point. Within twenty earth minutes, the three had reached the town limits
Once outside the city, they left the roadway and ventured across a series of fallow fields until they came to a rocky knoll. The trio proceeded to the summit and paused. The rat scurried over to a gigantic boulder and reached under the rock’s edge. With his front paws, he pulled a hidden lever. A section of the boulder opened to reveal a wide staircase. The rat then scrambled up Limp’s overalls and settled on his shoulder.
“Grab that torch, man, down we go!” quipped Biggersims, “Not long now.”
The steps were wide and the risers low, so the mule found it easier to descend than it usual. However, fifteen treads from the parterre, Limp went head over teakettle! His “magic wand”, which was still down his pant leg, slipped through his cuff and caught in a crease in the rock. The burning brand flew one way, the rodent flew another. The man sprawled at the base of the stair case in a heap gasping for air. Solobas plodded down the last few steps and bent over his comrade.
“You okay!” psied the mule, “Quite the tumble, there!”
“Wheeeeeze,” came the response. “Where’s my wand, where’s Siggermitts?”
“Yup!” came the voice of the hinny, “You’re fine!”
“What happened?” cried a tiny rat voice from the shadows.
“You’re fine too!” laughed the mule. “Now let’s get this show on the road.”
Solobas looked carefully about the chamber. The first peculiarity was the light, or the fact that it was light. A weird luminosity radiated from the walls giving the room a constant though greenish luster. The room was round and smaller than he had anticipated, only about ten meters in diameter. There was a storage alcove opposite the stairwell which contained blankets, some clothing, footwear and other necessities. Four padded benches sat two by two along the east and west walls. In the very center of the chamber was a spiral ramp that led from a six foot hole in the ceiling to the rock floor. The slide was composed of a smooth obsidian substance slightly greasy to the touch. The material seemed to extend up into the bore. A noise emanated from the hole, a low pitched drone that was interrupted at thirty second intervals by a slight popping noise much like that of a birthday balloon. This was one of the links to the other worlds. And since it was powered by some unknown potent force, it was not something with which to be trifled. Also, it seemed to be a most fickle of mechanism, as the trio of mortals was about to find out.
“It started that backfire noise the same day the transfers halted,” said Biggersims, “Other than that we have no clue as to the problem.”
Solobas nodded and turned to Limp just in time to see him break the ceiling plane of the tunnel with his “magic” golf club.
“POCUS!!!” he screamed.
Then, he vanished. Almost.....
The mule moved as fast as a Jessandic beffle brentle......nanosecond speed. He caught Limp’s pant cuff in his teeth just before he could be sucked into the shaft.
“Hold on,” psied Solobas, “Gotcha!”
The mule then began to slowly pull the human back into the chamber.
“Reverse thrust!” he psied to no one after dragging Limp to one of the benches.
“Has anyone else disappeared lately?” telepathed Solobas to the rat.
“Just a few of my guards, but they’re always looking for their own pots of gold.” wisecracked the rodent.
“Maybe not!” quipped Limp. “Maybe they got magic wands too!”
Solobas pushed a pew across the floor until it rested against the foot of the blackslide. He tested it for strength and then stepped onto the seat. By placing his front hooves on the backrest he could just touch the ceiling with his nose. The mule carefully and I mean very carefully, gave the delivery tunnel a quick sniff. He could detect nothing.
He directed Limp to place an old broom in his mouth. He waved it near the hole, again nothing! But when the fibers of the passed into the void, the sweeper was violently wrenched out of sight.
“Lucky I let it go!” smiled the mule.
Solobas climbed down from the couch and began to pace and think, or think and pace. [depends on your planet of origin]
He psied while he paced, or while he thought....Oh you know...
“The source of power for the wormholes has obviously polarized. It has not only stopped its flow of cosmic passengers to Pariah, it has apparently taken a few of the local boys off planet to who knows where. In order to affect a solution to this puzzle we require some professional assistance. We need Wicci!”
“What may I ask is a wicci?” queried Biggersims.
“He’s a rooster, oh boy......call Wicci, muley!” piped Limp.
“Wicci is a time traveler. I think if I can find him he be able to solve the dilemma we are experiencing.” projected the hinny. “He is a most capable acquaintance.”
“Anything to get this case closed.” declared Biggersims, “Anything!”
“The only hitch is finding the cockalorum.” noted Solobas, “He could be anywhere in the known or the unknown and I’m still new at this continuum thing. He did say I would be able to sense him if I needed him. Well, here goes sensing!”
Solobas closed his eyes and pictured his little colleague. Red and gold feathers.....purple paisley vest.......his strut......bright crimson comb.....eating his ultimate meal [cornbread].....yes, Solobas could actually see his friend....he could even hear him.....the kings english spouting from that yellow beak.......
“What ho boys.....,..got your message...easy as pie!” came the voice from the galaxies.
Yep, the mule could easily hear and see his comrade. He still wasn’t sure if he could connect enough to bring him here. His massive mule head began to hurt...a burning sensation that created a vibration in his spine and a hiss in his ears. Mule sweat dripped off his chin and his equine knees commenced to sagging. Far off he could hear Limp calling to him....
“Bassie, he’s here......he’s here!” was the cry. In desparation Limp struck the mule with his golf club.
Solobas flinched and began the trip back from a place he had never been. It was not an easy undertaking to travel through time and space. It was even harder to come back from the universe of ones own mind. The mule had reached the rooster within seconds of his self hypnosis. He had, however, passed the birds intellect quickly and fallen prey to the ecstasy of the trance. Had he not been physically assaulted by Limp he might have gone so deep into himself that return would have been impossible. A successful link to Wicci and a valuable lesson learned all in one rapture. Job well done! Now, back to business.......
Solobas and Wicci didn’t waste any time. They went into telepathic mode and began to dissect the riddle. They did open their minds to the Limp and Biggersims, so to keep the two informed about their plans. The rat was attentive and clever enough to follow the strategy. The three were so involved in the program that they didn’t notice a shadow creep down the stairs and slink under the stairs. Limp was drawing on the wall with a long lost crayon [color?....what?....oh, Burnt Sienna] and as usual, noticed nothing. The phantom was Kooby. He had followed their trail to the landing area......but.....Why?
Stay Tuned for the answer to this and all your questions.....in next weeks conclusion of......no, no....wait.....serial...this isn’t a serial......
The plan was.......for Wicci to bisect the black bore with a time line at various intervals to try and discover what might be causing the reverse flow. Though creating the time tunnels took little effort, the rooster had to be very careful because the flux in the bore could sweep away anyone or anything that crossed the perimeter. After several hours and countless interval ports the pair halted. Solobas realized that though Wicci was a master at this kind of undertaking, the measurement between Pariah and the origin planets could be infinite. This unfortunately was not going to work. So Limp broke out a meager meal from the packs. Water, wayfarers bread and cheese would have to do them. Wicci dashed off through a gate and returned with corn muffins....he couldn’t carry any more and he had his priorities! As they settled on the benches to eat, a rumble came from the ceiling shaft. They all looked to the roof in time to see the opening warp out of shape. It then closed completely. The noise stopped and with the silence, the aperture returned to its normal size and form. Needless to say, the crew was alarmed.
“Oh she’s much stronger than I had anticipated!” came a voice from the alcove. “And time is getting very short, very short indeed!”
Solobas leapt to his hooves and sprayed water all over his comrades. Wicci dropped his muffin and dove behind a bench. Biggersims took cover at the rooster’s posterior and produced a spring knife from somewhere on his little rat person. Limp vomited and crumpled to the stone floor, out cold!
“Sorry men, didn’t mean to startle anyone!” atoned the Thaj, “I guess I should’ve let you all in on this from the beginning, but I couldn’t be sure of everyone’s motives. Now it may be too late.”
“Well,” came the mules mindspeak, “ Better tell us who she is or forever hold your peace.”
“Ah, my friends a bit of background is in order,” said Koob, “ Though time is short, you’ll need some information.”
“First, I got a question, just who are you, really?” queried the rat.
“Very well, have to start somewhere.” voiced the Thaj.
“I am who I am. Just Koob the Thaj. However, I am not native to Pariah nor are any of us. Every being on this planet came from somewhere else. [another story] I am from Mokaska....I am a cosmic theorist, one of the twenty that was exiled by the community of M Planets [empyrean think tanks] for my...well...our concepts regarding the structure of the universes. Check your new memories, mule, you and the bird might recognize some of my explanation.”
After a moment, both nodded.
“I heard you were all dead.” stated Wicci, “Killed by conservative regulators in the Mind Wars of V502.”
“Our surviving group of seven put that word out on the street after the purging. Seemed like a good idea at the time.” quipped Koob.
“Anyway,” he continued, “ Our abstractions were not accepted by any of the powers-that-be, so we went underground. While still working on our hypotheses we supported ourselves by doing ordinary work....teaching mostly. When space travel became commonplace, we each headed out in a different direction to attempt to prove our beliefs. I came to Pariah because it is one place we thought had always been in touch with another layer of the universe. You see, we believe that the atomic structure of our universe, as infinite as it may be, is merely a part of another, larger continuum, which is a part of another...et cetera. We believe that it also goes in the other direction, that smaller creations exist. All these systems work in near-perfect harmony. But occasionally, there is a crossing, and often it is harmless, or even beneficial as it was here for many years. Now however, due to timing, spatial relationships or maybe just an everyday occurence on another level, we have a short circuit here.I know it is related to the power of a black hole. All of the crossings are! [we think] I came here to try to discover the problem and correct it. I’ve had no luck, until Solobas and Limp arrived. With Biggersims and the rooster, you have discovered more in three days than I have in many years. It seems the only thing I did right was to put you in touch with the creature that could get you to a landing plot. I followed you here to help if I can.”
“Still,” said Wicci, “You spoke of the problem as being female. What was that about?”
“Oh that is simply a matter of nomenclature.” laughed Kooby. “All of our universes are designated by women’s names, like Terran hurricanes. We name them, though we aren’t even sure of their existence. Rather pretentious of us , isn’t it?”
“Yep,” mumbled Limp. “Very tentious!”
Solobas shook his grand mule head and whickered a grand mule laugh. He was more surprised about his new memories than the business at hand. He was discovering more and more about his abilities with every rising sun. Wicci brought him back to the present with the statement they had all been avoiding.
“Well, chaps, the answer is staring us in the face. Someone has to take the reverse trip to look at this from the other side. It’s the only option as I see it. And I believe I’m the logical choice.”
“No,” psied the mule, “I think I might be a better choice.”
As Solobas finished his claim to the ominous job at hand, the hole contorted again. It expelled a rather audible burp and then reversed with a power not yet encountered by the company. In the blink of an eye, the five conspirators disappeared into the shaft headed for who knows where? [well I do of course]
My, my, the Thaj theorist was right! But the Thaj theorist was also wrong! Gotcha didn’t I! It’s like this.....
They were pulled by the breath of the gods to the very center of a black hole. However, their stay at the core was not measurable in any sense of time. In nanoseconds the five blinked not into the tunnel’s counterpart across void, but into the black hole itself. The group had blinked from their universal layer into another. Unfamiliar territory for all of them (even Wicci)...... They found themselves floating. They were comatose, their senses suppressed to a point of dormancy approaching death itself. Then a source of gravity took over and they began to slowly descend. Now here is where things get a bit hazy. Even I as the writer find it difficult to explain the strife involved with the experience of this universe. There is no word in any language in our cosmic layer that can justify or even rationalize the present situation of our heroes. Simply put, in this piece of the cosmos, they were so far below the atomic level, that they were...
..........nothing........
To give you an idea of proportion, the five were drifting somewhere in the space between the proton and the neutron of a hydrogen atom. And as we know, these particles are very close together. So imagine if you can, the size of the cellular constructions in this totality. Imagine the colossal, gargantuan, enormous, immense, think googolplex and still you fail to describe accurately because you cannot conceive of these dimensions. Neither could the travelers. Even when their hydrogen combined with an oxygen atom and brought them back from the abyss did they have any concept of their enviroment or the adversity they would now face. You see..........
The creature was in the midst of its hibernation period. Its heart rate had slowed from a norm of eighty beats to twenty. Its breathing was very deep and constant. Over the duration of its sleep, the mammal would lose nearly sixty percent of its body weight. All this was prototypical in the life cycle of the greater drimid. The rules of nature were simple. During the warm season, prepare for the coming of the ice. While the cold held the world, survive by slumber. This rhythm of life was common to many species on many planets throughout the heavens. But this average sized mammal on this small world in one universe was about to literally, breathe new life into an orb called Pariah in another universe for better or for worse. You see.....the hibernating beast lived on a terrestrial sphere that was two hundred trillion times the size of Pariah.[which is about the same size as Earth] The drimids respiratory process was the force that operated the black hole and its respective wormholes. And since the beast was now in the middle of a thirty year inhalation, getting back to their own plane certainly didn’t look good for the voyagers. To make matters worse, the water molecule in which they were encased was heading for the drimids nose.
The cockalorum was the first to recover enough to assess their surroundings. He opened time gates in several directions, trying to find a familiar environ. He was shaken when he could not locate anything that even resembled sanctuary. You must remember that Wicci had seen it all, at least in his own universal layer. To be honest, the bird was simply too far out of his element. So he did the only thing he could....he woke up his colleagues with a heroic cock-a-doodle-doo!
The four came awake with a start. They had all drifted at about the same rate of speed, so it was fairly easy to bring the group back together. A light rope was salvaged from Limp’s pack and used to rope the mule, the man and the Thaj to one another. The rooster clung to the hinny’s saddle bag and the rat went into Limp’s pack. Solobas tentatively sent out a extrasensory signal hoping to find.....something. Unfortunately his powers were not up to the sheer size of the planet. He detected life forms on many levels, but couldn’t find any communication wavelength. Koob wasn’t saying anything, but he knew, he knew! The great thinker was up to his neck in the reality of his theories, and was about to drown. Limp and Biggersims were arguing, I think just to pass some time. So, the five travelers were traveling, but they didn’t have the answers to any of the classic questions.[uhhh where, how, errr, ahh, why, what, ack, when,....at least they knew the who] And though they didn’t know it, “time” wasn’t as the Stones said “on their side”. The comrades shook hands, paws, appenages and hooves thinking their lives were over. They weren’t far from wrong. Their vapor molecule taxi had just entered the twilight zone, the left nostril of the sleeping drimid. The particle bonded itself to others like itself, and formed a bead one of the monsters nose hairs. The bead began to grow as more fragments of oxygen and hydrogen joined the fray. Wicci decided to try one more time gate before giving up the ghost. He opened a portal that just happened to lead directly onto the drimids scent organ. The rooster plucked a golden feather from his wing and as a melodramatic symbol of unity sent the quill wafting down the time corridor. He turned to his friends....
“Fellow travelers, “ he whispered, “ My time has come.[no pun intended] I will follow the gate where it leads in hopes of finding a better end than we face here. Farewell friendsssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeyyyyyaaaaahhhh.....................”
Now a drimid’s nose is very, very sensitive. It can detect one part per billion trillion or something like that! Even from a deep hibernation, that golden feather caused quite a stir when it touched the extraordinary scent gland. It passed a intense message on to the creatures central nervous system. A one word directive came back. SNEEZE!!! Though it didn’t even rouse from repose, it did SNEEZE!!!
The nucleus that embraced our reluctant explorers burst from the animal’s nose and found itself on a beeline for the black hole. At near light speed it flashed back through the gravitational field and headed for the very wormhole from whence it came. The molecule popped [the noise they had heard in the landing port] and the cosmic vagabonds began to slow. They also passed out from the lack of air. This was actually advantageous because they could not fight their flight path. So the five luckiest organisms in creation happened to set down in the familiar cosmic layer, on a small planet named Pariah, within the town limits of MeetingPlace. Now, the wanderers never knew the details of their success. It probably would have stopped their hearts if they had. The fruition of the deed came to pass as the five associates roused from their stupors. A humanoid came sliding down the ebon ramp and landed nose to nose with Biggersims, then a troll, then a gelatinous pod with eyes!
“Back in business!” cried the rat.
And so they were. The drimid’s sneeze had put things in proper order. The much needed citizenry would be provided by the wormholes for as long as......guess we don’t know, do we? But, the rat, or his heir or his heir’s heir would know of the potential suspension of the work force and would be prepared. Life goes on......and on....
Hey the truth is supposed to set you free, but in a life based in theory, the practical application of those speculations can be devastating. It was for Koob. Somehow the creature had known that he and his comrades had been swimming in uncharted waters. They had crossed a line that should’ve never been traversed, not yet anyway. The Thaj disappeared! He was never seen again. It was said that he died and haunted the hills south of TheMeetingPlace. But that’s just a story to frighten the children, at least I think it is....
Wicci had business, so poof, gone! Limp and Solobas stayed in town with Biggersims, waiting. They knew that another adventure was just around the corner and were almost looking forward to it. The mule eagerly sought out Ms Phitt, hoping she could shed some light on their journey. Every creature he spoke to had no recollection of the old woman or her bear. He began to think he had hallucinated the matron. But Limp remembered her in great detail so she had to be real....didn’t she.
It was the third day after their return, the two cohorts had just enjoyed a breakfast of cheese croissants and honey cakes . It was warm and Limp was napping. Without any warning...
“You know hackie,” he exclaimed while still asleep, “Ms Phitt’s bear didn’t really look like a bear, it looked like a drimid!”
The mule shook his head...
“What,” he psied, “ is a drimid?”
Then the wind changed and the hack mule and the feckless one were falling....all that was left was the magicgolfclub.......
